just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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