I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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