You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
