some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
