I cockslap morals
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
