Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
