i just had sex bonerless
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
