yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
