why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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