My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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