idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
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some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
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I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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