Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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