david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"