Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard