umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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