is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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