i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize