How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
