Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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