I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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