have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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