Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
