Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
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She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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