We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
