even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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