Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
