tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
