I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize