You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
