i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
