have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
