well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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