my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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