The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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