Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
