Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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