if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Welp...herpes.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
