before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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