I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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