i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
