I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
