there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize