There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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