physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
