Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
