yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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