wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
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dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
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I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize