Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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