We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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