My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
