i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I would fuck him just for his dog
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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