i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
