I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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