spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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