so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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