you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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