He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize