So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
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